Help wanted!So, I just heard back from EqD about "White Eclipse", and while it wasn't accepted, they don't seem to have and major problems with the story or the characterization other than me dropping the Royal we for Luna, and that I can deal with. On the technical side, however, they did have a few critiques, the biggest among them being that I tell you what's going on much more than showing what's happening. It's sort of the difference between "action X happened to character Y", or "character X feels emotion Y", as opposed to describing what's going on without explicitly stating what's happening.Help wanted! by portaljumper339
So, I now wish to enlist my readers to help me find every instance of this in the first part of "White Eclipse" and, if at all possible, help me eliminate it. I have two more shots at uploading it to them, so let's see what we can do!
Current Residence: The humans here call it Earth.;|
deviantWEAR sizing preference: Huh?
Favourite genre of music: All most everything.
Favourite style of art: Anime/Manga
Shell of choice: Huh?
Favourite cartoon character: Caboos/Gir/Hinata/Naruto
Personal Quote: Numba 86: As you can see we dont make mistakes. Numba1: You just did, youv made me angery!